The Rules of Communication

I always knew how lucky I was to have my father also be my pastor. But it's even more of a blessing to have him be the one to marry me and Cain. It's been very rewarding to have him around both of us for the past year, we get premarital counsel at random times and tips on making the right choices as a couple. We are both open to learn how to be better for each other and my dad is the only one I trust with marriage counsel. I have seen first hand the amazing relationship my parents have kept through out their marriage. Cain and I wish the same on our marriage so love when we get one on one time with him.

So the other night my dad sat down with us at the island in our kitchen and went over the Four Rules of Communication. We went through it pretty fast but there were so many things that we were able to easily understand. It's so simple, anyone in any kind of relationship should be able to grasp this.

Here are the four rules taken from Ephesians 4:25-32

1. Be Honest

What this means is, don't say you're fine when you aren't. It's so easy to say, "No I'm fine" and walk away wanting the other person to know that you are not "fine" but this is not a mind reading relationship. Because to be frank, guys aren't good at reading our minds! So, be honest. Say, "That hurt my feelings" Open up so that things can be fixed right away.

2. Stay Current

How often do we want to bring up the past? When really it only adds to the problem you have at hand already. Also this means don't let todays argument be tomorrow's problem. We've all heard it before, "Don't let the sun go down upon your wrath" (verse 27) Deal with the problem at hand, don't bring up the past. Be able to forgive and stay current with your feelings. Matthew 6:34 says "Tomorrow will have problems of its own" So stay on topic, don't bring up the past and remember to speak your words in love.

3. Attack the Problem not the Person

If you asked your loved one if they could pay the phone bill last week and you find out today that they forgot. Instead of attacking them as a person and calling them names that will bring them down to show that they messed up, such as...  "Wow, that was real smart of you to forget to pay the phone bill, don't be stupid!" (Words hurt, choice them wisely) Focus on the actual problem, the phone bill needs paid. So many times we start attacking the person so fast that before you know it 10 minutes have gone by and you have to go back to the beginning of the argument to remember what made you upset in the first place!

Note: this can also apply to your self! Let's say its YOU that forgot to pay the bill and you bring self-guilt and blame to yourself. That's not right either. Be able to forgive yourself when you might make a mistake.

We need to forgive. Simple as that you have to give up your right or claim to revenge, hold a grudge or get even. Give it up. And do it in love.

4. Act don't react

Everyone has a different way they react. Some will have a outbursts of anger, use words to hurt the other person, you might also not let them know they hurt you and give them the silent treatment, you might seek revenge by doing the "slow burn" or have a desire to harm the person... make them suffer!

None of those are very pleasing to Lord. But we all have done one of those, if not all. No matter how irresponsible the other person is, you must act biblically. You can't control the other person, but you can control how you resound to them.

This can apply to all kinds of relationships not just between a husband and wife.

I wanted to remember these 4 rules that way if Cain and I had a problem to fix that we could easily go to this and make sure we treat the problem and person correctly and in love.

So I made this! I'm going to be hanging it up in the apartment here soon! Feel free to also use it in your own homes. Even if you already apply these things it could be an eye opener to someone else!

Lanette

Monday calls for food.

Can this snow be done already?! Last night on my way home from Waynedale it started snowing really hard and fast! I laughed thinking "it's going to be snowing still in May I bet!" That would be really funny, right? Wrong! Ha I'd like it to be at least 50 out!

Yesterday was food haul day! And prep day for Cain's week! Nova spent the night at Cain's Sunday because I would be there Monday morning. When I got there Monday Nova greeted me with lots of kisses. Not that she doesn't love Cain, but hey... I'm her mom she misses me more ;)


I decided to make pancakes for breakfast! It was a new recipe using Flax meal

I also fried up some bacon for the my Mr.

As they were cooking I went to go get the Maple Syrup out because Cain just can't eat his pancakes without some kind of syrup!


But I couldn't find it, I swear I bought some the first day we went to the store to get food for the apartment. For the life of me I don't know what happened to it. So Cain braved the pancakes without syrup... and he liked it! Haha!

I made my grocery list out for the week and was off to food land. And there I made sure to pick up Cain's Maple Syrup!

Here is all the I got from Kroger's... 

Green grapes

Strawberries

Pineapple 

Celery 

Onion

Diced Tomato

Maple Syrup

Frank's Hot sauce

Olive Oil Potato Chips

Ground Turkey

Chicken Breast

And the Ezekiel tortillas were already out on the table thawing out.  They last longer if you freeze them and seeing how Cain only eats about two a week I have to let them thaw out every week!

So while I prepare the food, they play. And I stop and adore the sight :)

These two, melt my heart. 

So for lunch I decided on Buffalo Meat Loaf. Using ground turkey! 

Buffalo Meat Loaf:

1 lb Turkey

3 stalks of Celery 

1 Egg

Half of a small Onion

3 T Almond flour

3 T Franks hot sauce

1 t Garlic powder

1/2 t cayenne pepper

salt and pepper to taste!

 And it turned out great! Cain had peas on the side. Yuck. You'd think with all the veggies I eat that I would like peas too... but I don't! And NEVER have. It's the one veggie I can't bring myself to eating. I like avocados raw, I like spinach and kale... but can't do peas. 

 I made this calendar for our apartment over the weekend! It's a countdown to the Wedding! We have 100 days starting tomorrow! Wow, can't wait! Cain will get to mark each day off. But every Monday or any other day I'm there I get to do the marking off!

 I realized I didn't post these pictures from last week, but thought I would now..

Graci and I waiting in line at Walmart. Always so much fun.... not!

Not that you guys care. But I do sometimes take pictures of my food. I don't normally post them though because don't see the point. But I thought how I post Cain's food for the week, but never mine. And I didn't think that was fair :p So here is some stuff I enjoyed last week!

Here is a salad with chicken, cherry tomatoes, avocodo and pecans!

Here is a salad with one salmon patties whole and a half of one chopped on top. There is peppers, tomatoes and avocado mixed in!

This is a greet smoothie I had for a snack! But to be honest I can't remember what I put in it! I will do another this week and tell you!

Salad with tomatoes, 2 boiled eggs, strawberries and apple!

 Well that was fun! Hope you enjoy looking at my favorite things to eat!

 Ruthie sent me this picture of us from Saturday at Derrek and Cat's wedding! Thought I'd share!

This week is looking to be not so busy, I hope I can get a lot done!

And blog more!

Lanette

Part of a great family

I would like to be sleeping right now in my bed with nova by my feet. But I'm not. I'm wide awake with a runny nose!

Cain had to work this morning at 8:00am so that meant me up at 7:00am to get breakfast going! Bacon and eggs were eaten and then he was off! Leaving me here thinking, should I try and go back to sleep or not? I'd love to try but I know what will happen. I will lay there thinking of all the things I need to get done! So instead I decided to come on here to get my mind off all the things I need to get done! Haha

Last night we had Derrek and Cat's wedding! We started our morning off pretty early to get everything ready for the day. While Cain spent the afternoon with Bub I went over to his sister Lea's place for awhile to kill time, and eat! I really like Lea, I think we have a lot in common and I'm thankful for her friendship. After I left there I went over to Toni's to get ready for the wedding.

Christine his other sister was there which I was happy about, she is a great friend to me too. I feel as if I could go to her for wisdom and a understanding ear. She is a good listener and is so smart! Yesterday I was thinking "Wow, I have some amazing sisters in my life" I have my blood sisters who I adore and now I have my sister in laws who I also adore and love dearly. I only wish we all lived closer so that we could spend more time together. I couldn't imagine not having sisters or sister in laws. That would be sad! When Cain and I move away one day I know I will miss seeing them. Along with all our family!

Britany (Cain's younger sister) who I've met before but haven't been able to spend a whole lot of time with was there last night and I was lucky enough to sit by her! Right away I knew I liked her. Very sweet, but the type of girl who would hurt anyone if they messed with her family! Just like everyone else on Cain's side they are a tight group and are there for each other. I am thankful for them and love being apart of their family!


See my HOT date I had late night! I love Cain to death, he makes me so proud and I'm blessed to have him by my side. Last night when we got back to my parents and my mom saw Cain in his ASU's she was like "Wow, you look great Cain!" I then said "Yeah, I couldn't keep my hands off of him!" She laughed and said "I was about to ask you, how'd you keep your hands off of him all night?!" Haha. Have I said before how much I love Cain?  I do. I really do.

The groomsmen with the groom! Loving the bow ties!

It was a late night for us, we are not normally out passed 9:00pm lol actually I'm normally in bed at 9:00pm but it was worth staying up later to be there for the party and celebration of Bub and Cat's wedding! Cain made an awesome speech and everything he said I would have to agree with. I wish them all the best, and God's blessing on their marriage :)

Well I need to go get ready for church! Hope everyone has a great Sunday with family!

Lanette

If Food Babe was an Olympic gymnast ...

Since learning more about the food I eat and where it comes from I have been following many blogs that also care and do a lot of research into the companies that make our food. I've said before how crazy I am about Food Babe and the hard work she does to make things not only better with the foods she eats, but for everyone else.

I am apart of the Food Babe Army and will support anyone who believes in a better food system!

So big things have been happening in the last month or so! First off, Subway is finally taking out a chemical in their breads thanks to Food babe, and her Army! They haven't given a date yet on when that change is happening but I would not eat there until it does. I wouldn't eat there period because there is a lot more things wrong then just that chemical in the bread! But! If you do, wait.

Next Food babe has been working side by side with the people at Chick-fil-a for the past year to better their products. Like taking High Fructose Corn Syrup out of their sauces and such. But something even better coming..... Their Chicken will be Antibiotic-Free! Now, this is all going to be within the next 5 years they said. But still! For "fast food" this is great news... and will just start the ball rolling for other fast food places.

I would love to think in the next 5 years things will only be getting better, not worse. Because the more you know about the food you eat, the more concerned you will get about what's going on here in the United States.

Honestly, what are in stores today just isn't cutting it for nutrition. It's actually doing a negative affect on us!

And the FDA is a joke. I didn't even realize what the FDA was or did when starting to eat right. But once I realized what they were there for, it bothered me that they aren't doing their job. You think, hey this product is on the shelf, it's being sold to billions of people... it couldn't have a ingredient in it that could be that harmful, could it? YES!

Take Kraft Mac and Cheese for one ... it has Yellow No. 5 dye in it which has been linked to Hyperactivity, Asthma, some skin conditions and cancer! Wait! But it's Kraft, don't they care about kids? Sorry... no. They care about the money in their pockets and sadly we do care about the money in our packets. Though it may seem cheaper (and easier) to buy the boxed Mac and cheese for lunch instead of the fresh vegetables and fruit. In the long run, your kids are paying for it in their health.

Now I have been told I need to work on being more tactful when telling people about the food they are eating (And I am trying!) But I just can't stand seeing my loved ones doing damage to their heath. But it is a choice, and I'm thankful we all have the choice.

And what you decide will help in the future.

I thought this was funny! But so true, where did it all go wrong? Who is to blame? Honestly, who really cares at this point? There's nothing we can do to go back and change things... but we can still change things for our kids. We are responsible for the future, and where are dollars go is what we will get back.

Buy from a farmer, so that farmer can keep growing organic food.

Buy Organic and they will supply more Organic foods.

It's that's simple!

Make sure to follow Foodbabe.com to keep up with what she is doing to help make things better! Here is a quote from NaturalNews.com ...

"If Food Babe were an Olympic gymnast, she would have just pulled off a high-speed triple back somersault with a perfect landing and unanimous "10" score" 

I couldn't agree more! All I can say is, what am I doing to change things?

Lanette