Oliver's Birth Story | Part 4

8:50pm I hear "Grab some towels for the ride to the hospital, just in case"



This was the first time I felt "panicked" I didn't think too hard on this thought though as I continued on with the next contraction that hit.

Everyone had left and was heading to the hospital, Cain and my midwife helped me get into the car. I got into the front seat but was facing the back of the car. I wasn't quite sure how I would get "comfortable" here. There was no comfort at this time. My mom got in the back seat and we started the trip to Fort Wayne. It was a 50-minute drive to Dupont Hosptial. And it was a very long 50 minutes.

I was told not to "push" or bare down if at all possible so to not cause baby's head to swell after being stuck on my pubic bone for so long while pushing. This was the most pain I had been in all day. Trying to go against what my body was naturally wanting to do, push.

The ride to the hospital was very quiet, other than the sounds of me working through each contraction without pushing. I would blow air out like I was blowing a big, very big candle out. Come to find out later I had 12 contractions in this car ride, how do I know this...? Cain counted.

Once we reached the hospital there was a man with a wheelchair waiting for me outside. My midwife has a relationship with the hospital and my OB so she called ahead to let them know I was coming. He wheeled me down a back way into a labor and delivery room. Not everyone got to come back, at this time I didn't notice. Now looking back I wish my sister and photographers could have kept walking with us, they were told not to of course.

Cain, Rhoda, Lauren, Natalie, and Kirsten were my support team in the room. I got onto the bed with my backside facing the room. I held on to the top of the bed feeling slightly overwhelmed from the car ride and now in a new place. Each contraction I felt the pull to push and holding that pullback was incredibly hard.

My OB Dr. Stroud was not on call. His wife Marianne (Nurse Midwife) was. She joined the room not to long after I arrived. She checked me to confirm he was transverse/stuck.

Behind me, people were talking but all I did was listen. I couldn't say much at this time, I was getting tired from not pushing and was trying to stay focused on what I needed to do next. I was ready to keep going but I didn't know what that meant.

This is where I am glad I had the support team I did. When you have no strength to make decisions on your own you need the people around you to know what you want and what's best for you and the baby.

My memory of this time was when Marianne gave me the news that she thought the c-section was our best option because baby's heart rate dropped and was not rising as quickly as before. The baby was telling us what needed to be done next. My back still turned facing the back wall I asked "Rhoda, do you think that's the right call?" I heard her say a confident "Yes" I continued. "Cain, do you think that's the right call?" I could hear his comforting voice say "Yes, I do" and I believe I asked my whole team. Maybe I didn't but I wanted each of their input and validation that I was making a good decision based on the information given.

There's a quote I saw after this all that says:

"The power of the birth plan isn't the actual plan. It's the process of coming educated about all of the available options"

They wheeled me back to the Operating Room with me still facing the front of the bed on my knees. Although my contractions were still as tense, things seem to have slowed down once I was in there. The pace was slow to me in this room. I know they were moving fast but they talked slow and I felt calm.

The spinal block came very fast. I was in the middle of a contraction holding as still as possible. I felt scared for a moment hoping that I wouldn't mess this part up "don't move don't move don't move" as I was blowing that invisible big candle out.

I was laying on my back now and Cain walked in right before they made the first cut, sadly Rhoda was unable to join us, normally she would have been allowed and this part of the story makes me sad. She was MY midwife and this was the birth, I really wish she could have been there. But she got me there, safe. She made the best call and this is why I picked her for this birth.

Dr. Milburn was the one performing the c-section. Marianne was on my left side while he was on my right. I asked for the clear drape so I could see my baby be born.

When Cain sat down next to me he said something really neat.

Here is our conversation leading up to Oliver's birth.

Cain "I think it's a girl, I am about to meet my girl"

Lanette "Really?" I said.

(I'm going to come back to this at the end.)

I heard "ok, a lot of baby here"

I said "a lot of baby? a big baby?!"

"I'm trying to get the baby up a bit"

"ok, yeah because he was low," I said.

I saw Dr. Milburn take his left arm and brace himself while he took the right arm down.

My eyes got big. I didn't feel the brace but I was bracing myself for the moment I had been waiting for, the birth of my baby.

It's not where I pictured it. It's not the dream I had envisioned. But it was a beautiful birth.

As Marianne lifted a big baby up I said "on my gosh, no wonder baby didn't fit...... It's a boy!"

Cain said "Did you see?" at the same time I said it. "Yes, It's a boy" and Cain cried "It's a big boy"

"10:44" I heard.

"It's my baby," I said.

"Ohh look at those feet," Marianna said. "Wowww" she continued on amazed at his size.

After 25 hours of labor and 6.5 hours of pushing, a 50-minute car ride and a c-section - I finally let out a cry of joy.

"Oh my goodness, Oliver. Oh, my little Ollie I love you so much" I said.

I heard them say they did delay cord clapping which made me very happy. His cry was beautiful and we felt such joy rush over us.

They brought him over to me so I could get a closer look but sadly it's routine to "check" babies over after birth in the hospital. So he went over to the warmer where Cain met him. They said normally it takes about 8-10 minutes to get baby back to mom. But in our case, it was a record time back with just 4 minutes separated.

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They laid him on my right arm/chest where we stayed for quite some time it felt. Oliver put his hand to my mouth and started to calm down. After a while, I got to see Cain hold Oliver. Oh my heart was rejoyicing. Cain took Oliver out to the recovering room and I soon followed. We had 2 hours there. I felt so bad that my midwives and family could not join us but now looking back it was such a sweet time with just the three of us.

Oliver latched on perfectly within the first 30 minutes and I got to feed him. Cain was able to do skin to skin then too.

We made it to our room when Cain went out to grab everyone still waiting. It wasn't until they were all in the room did we announce baby was a boy!

After everyone left us I laid there staring at the baby who had stolen my heart 9 months ago. It was you all along Oliver Cain. You had always been here.

The video of his birth has been a great reminder to me of how empowering the whole process was for me. The days that followed after Oliver's birth I felt discouraged on how things ended up, seeing how things went so beautifully at home I replayed the whole day over and over again trying to find "what went wrong"

 I realize now that it's still true, things went beautifully at home. Nothing went wrong but his position, we couldn't change (not lack of trying!) But things went beautifully at the hospital too. We had a successful and safe birth at home and in the hospital. And for that, I love sharing his story.

So you know how Cain said "It's a girl" in the OR room? Well, I'd love to share this story with you.

The day after Ollie was born my friend visited us at the hospital and told us about a dream she had. She said that she dreamt that there was a little girl in the OR when Ollie was born. This friend is the only person who knew I was pregnant with Roman our first baby before the miscarriage.

When she told me that she had a dream that a little girl was in the room and that she thought it was Roman (she always thought Roman was a girl) I remembered Cain's words when he walked into the room. The first thing he said was "It's a girl" and of course we were referring to who is now Oliver. But what I believe is that he actually was feeling the presence of our little girl in heaven. She was there the whole time celebrating the birth of Oliver Cain.


Oliver's Birth Video ...

Oliver Cain from Labor of Love on Vimeo.